Sunday, April 6, 2014


I heard someone crying tonite

A single autism parent
Worn out
Wanting out

Without solutions
For a better life for themselves
And their children

A desperate cry for help
From one who appears to have
The strength of many
But it is a silent scream

Some days some years
The pain outweighs the good

The rainbow. The silver lining
Cannot be summoned here
And the will to persevere dwindles

A friend extends a hand
Just one passerby views this life
And lingers for a moment
With only words to offer

The silent scream becomes pure silence
In word and action
And the cleansing tears flow

The heart will regain strength with the new day
Fueled by love
There is no stronger power
Share it widely, please

Friday, April 4, 2014

Autism: Who's Guto?"

Autism:  "Who's Guto?"
by Pamela Rundall-Mari

It was one of those autie mom days.  You know what I mean.  The I can't take one more meltdown, one more script, one more request to repeat a script "say it, say it".  The kind of day where you know if you lay your head down on the bed, you are so beyond comprehension tired, that you would be out like a light. And you know you can't do that.  You are on day and night shift....alone. 

My son with autism loves to listen to the "How to Draw" tutorials of Disney characters on YouTube.  "I want "How to Draw Stitch" by BTSPRO."  BTSPRO is an artist who I believe may have or still works for Disney.  He takes you step by step through drawing the characters and we actually have replicated some of them following his directions. 

"I want How to Draw Pluto", my son requests.  I validate his request by repeating:

"OK...HOW TO DRAW GUTO".   "GUTO"?  WHO THE HECK IS "GUTO".  I'm so tired it strikes me funnier than all get out and I actually snort laughing.  I can't stop laughing at this stupid mistake I made.  I'm trying to restrain myself and my son says "It's not Guto, It's Pluto".  But, at the same time I catch him chuckling too. 

He's laughing at the fact that I am laughing uncontrollably.  I push my limits a bit and ask "Are you sure you don't want GUTO?".  I'm so tired and the release of laughing was a pleasant experience. And the fact that we SHARED a laugh, a bit of common understanding, a moment of theory of mind, shall we say,was fabulous.  I understand that you thought it was funny and I think it is funny too.  This is a type of moment I wish for more often 

Today, again with the Ipod asking for "How to Draw" videos.  First it was "Chip" the Chipmunk.  Then "I want How to Draw Tale"??  He catches himself every so quickly.  "Not Tale, I mean Dale".  
"Did you say Tale?"  I ask.  "Are you sure you don't want Guto?"  I start to chuckle again.  He returns the laugh.  I'm gonna ride this one as long as I can.  And poor Guto, whoever you are, it's all at your expense and I'm loving it!