Autism: "My Butt is Sweaty!"

Autism:  "My Butt is Sweaty!"

This blog falls into the "you gotta laugh" category because living with autism, if you don't allow yourself a laugh now and then you will self destruct. 

So just another day on the autism road.  I pick Joey up from school and as our ritual would have it, we head for McDonald's to get his french fries and orange Hi-C.  Still in the 80's here in Pennsylvania so the kids are wearing shorts and t-shirts to school.  Not quite autumn yet.  As we are driving along he's in the front seat next to me. 

"My butt is sweaty", he proclaims.  I've heard this many times before.  I assume the nylon material of the shorts causes him to sweat.  The fact that the car seats are leather doesn't help either.  "Hang in there" I suggest, "We'll be home soon and you can change clothes". 

We arrive at McD's and I give the drive thru lady our order and proceed forward to pay, then head for the pick up window.  I'm more concerned with planning out how to hold a bag of fries, a large drink and an ice cream cone, than I am with what's going on next to me. 

"Here you go" the pick up window girl announces, and I reach out to take the ice cream cone from her hand, turning to give it to Joey as my eyes fall on his lap. 

In true autism style, with no concern for the social situation surrounding him, he has lowered his shorts to alleviate the "sweaty butt" syndrome.  My mouth hanging open, ice cream in hand I just want to shout "pull up your pants"!  Something holds me back.  I hand him the ice cream and whisper "pull up your pants".  On the slight chance that the girl at the drive thru didnt notice I decide not to bring any more attention to the situation.  

But then as usual, the thoughts start racing through my head. "Oh my god, what if she did see?"  "What must she think of him?"  "What is she in there telling the rest of the staff at the restaurant?"  We do have a group of young people and the manager at this McD's that know us and know of Joey and they probably would come to his defense but these workers all seemed new lately.  These are times when I want to have a big Autism Awareness Ribbon plastered onto the driver's side of my vehicle.  If I had the money truthfully I would have my vehicle painted in puzzle pieces from bumper to bumper to stop the stares, questions and remarks we autism parents know all too well. 

As we drive home to a point I marvel at the logical way he solved his problem.  If we did not live in a society with rules and norms that we follow the obvious solution to your butt being sweaty is to remove your clothes.  It just plain made sense to him.  

I remember a teacher in high school asking the class one day:

"why do you iron your clothes?"

"because they are wrinkled", every replied. 

"do they not fit because they are wrinkled?" he asks'

"are they dirty and smelly because they are wrinkled?"

"no"

Another rule of society that truthfully has no practical basis.  We do it because society tells us to, that's they way it is and that is what you must do to fit in.  For a person with autism this must be horribly confusing because it is not based in logic.  It requires that unspoken desire to gain the approval and acceptance of others that many folks on the spectrum just cannot grasp.  

Obviously we must have some rules in order to survive without total chaos but think how much more relaxed we would all be without so many of them.